Before I get to my topic of choice, I haven’t seen the Bernanke testimony due to a long day at work. I surmised by little movement in markets that Bernanke added nothing new; so I didn’t make an effort to watch the C-SPAN video of the testimony. His statements generally frustrate me, as does his idea of professional and ethical conduct of monetary policy, and it’s just as well that I don’t watch to save myself immediate _____ (insert choice negative emotion here).

Segueing into my topic, it is fitting that I started with Bernanke’s derangement syndrome because my afternoon became slightly deranged after receiving a call from a recruiter. I hear from this guy about once or twice per year, perhaps. At one point, during my spell of unemployment that started in late 2007 and went to late 2012, he was the only one I heard from for long stretches of time. Sometimes the job he was seeking to fill was not a good fit. But getting a call, any call, was better than nothing; and it allowed me to play games with myself, that somehow I was important enough to at least call.

Over the last several months after becoming re-employed (thank God for miracles) I packed up most of those memories of hard times and stored them away in a dark corner of my mind. But they are stubborn things to manage, apparently not as much under control as I’d like them to be, coming to the surface when I least expect, like at organizational meetings at work and being informed of layoffs, or today, when I listened to a voicemail left for me by a recruiter. I suppose I relived nearly every stressful second of those five years in an instant – the stress, the fatigue, the fear of even hope, and surrender to circumstance – all of it. And for about 5 minutes, as long as I would allow, I was back there, remembering how creative I can be with a bag of flour out of necessity.

What I did afterward was great therapy, however. I called him back to let him know I am busy and not looking for work at the moment – and then I went on with my day feeling grateful those are just memories and not the present.

 

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